Coaching is primarily about facilitating intra-personal and inter-personal learning, and Ontological Coaching is about coaching to the way of being. The word ‘Ontological’ comes from the Greek: ‘Onto’ – which means way of being, and ‘Logical’ – is of or relating to logic, that which is in harmony with sound reasoning. A lack of ‘way of being’ – or ontological security, doesn’t mean someone is psychologically disturbed, and requires psychotheraputic support (although they might, and then it would be best that they do consult a therapist). Most of us have problems which we have difficulties finding solutions to, and which affect the quality of our existence. We need a sense of security, and we lack adaptive resilience. We might just be looking for an enhanced way of being, and a better quality of existence. This time in history causes us often to question if we are in the right job, if what we are doing with our lives is right for us. Our concerns become more pertinent, and demanding, and it is not always easy to find the solution.

Coaching to the way of being is the hallmark of Ontological Coaching. Way of Being is a dynamic interrelationship between 3 spheres of human existence: language, emotions and body, each of which all has an effect on the other 2. Way of being is the underlying driver of our communication and our behaviour. The quality of our behaviour shapes many of the outcomes we experience in life, and our outcomes are not just financial and material, they are also emotional, physiological and spiritual. We live in the lives we have created, and are creating, one minute, one day, one week, one month at a time.

Let me give you an example. If you were in ‘the perfect storm’ of negative emotions – you were grumpy, annoyed, frustrated, tired, sickened by what you were living, resentful, and hurt. Would you take on a good suggestion about how you could get better? Would you really be able to listen? Probably not. You might even get angry. The information might sound like ‘white noise’: a nuisance and something you don’t want to hear. Your emotions and deeper mood have a hold on you, and you would need to shift out of those emotions and moods, before you could hear, or really listen and take on board a good suggestion about how you could change your situation in a positive manner.

Here is a little experiment for you. If your body will allow it, try to sit or stand completely hunched over for 3 minutes, and just check what that does to your emotions, and consequently to your thoughts and ideas. Once again, if your body will allow, I then invite you to stand in the ‘Wonder Woman’ position: hand on hips, back straight, shoulders back and down, looking straight ahead, chin level with the ground, legs slightly separated, and anchored firmly on the ground. You can imagine your cape blowing in the wind behind you, if you like! Do this for 3 minutes, and see how it has changed your feeling about yourself. You should feel more empowered, more grounded, more sure of yourself. Your body has ‘talked’ to your mind. You have opened your rib cage, and can breathe more easily, your body posture has informed your mind that you are in control, and your mind is taking this information on board, and making you feel good, and in charge.

In these instances, you did something that affected your way of being, and it affected other parts of your way of being. Ontological Coaching supports people to learn how to experience and make shifts in their ways of being, in such a way that they can then take these tools, and use them themselves, when ever they need them. The coach’s role is to gently facilitate profound and positive learning through ontological shifts, in alignment with what the coachee is seeking to achieve. The coachee becomes a more powerful observer to view themselves more constructively, enhance relationships, and see new possibiites and opportuities that previously were not available. The generative nature of Ontological Coaching enables people to create, or re-invent themselves as observers, and thereby ‘step back’ from their way of being, and shift themselves – their thoughts, behaviour and emotions – to be better postioned to deal with what life ‘throws’ at them. They are better able to handle the ups and downs, and sometimes roller-coaster rides that life sometimes brings, because they understand how they function. They can ‘push their own buttons’, instead of having life, or other people push those buttons for them.